In this strange city,
I sat down – among more strangers
Mongers and dancers
Students and musicians
Popping pills, swaying to the beat
(What for, I still wonder)

After the morning after pill,
I realized –
(Sitting in a pool of my vomit)
What bad trips were

Under the neon lights
High enough
To not realize –
What I was doing to myself
Injections lay on the table –
Powder lay under the discarded change
(Self-destruction can be beautiful)

Now –
As the city sleeps
I run around the landscape
Looking for the child I lost –
Somewhere along the way
(It’s about the half ash-ed cigarettes and coffee rings)

I have walked the suburbs
And have drowned besides the beach
Coughed, and coughed and coughed
(Destruction – that’s what it was)
A degree of separation
From what I was – am.

To disgrace and dejected
Secluded in this glittering enormity
I down my last whiskey on the rocks
As I step onto this ending
(After all, Some endings are pretty)

 

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